YuGiOh Fairy Tales: Radishes
by ElfKingofDemons
Summary: Chapter 5 is up! W00T! Also I modified some stuff & put in a new swear bleep method.YuGiOh characters in classic fairy tales! This time Kaiba is in Rapunzel as the Handsome Prince. I figured I'd rate it PG13 because of Kaibsy's sailor mouth
1. Prologue

Radishes  
  
Hiya! It's the Disclaimer here. I most definitely do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of it's characters. (If I did, I'd use Kaiba as my personal blood donor. Mmmmm, CEO blood :9 ) I also do not own Rapunzel, so the ghosts of the Brothers Grimm better stop haunting me in my sleep! & if anyone has written a story similar to mine (or copied word for word) prior to my posting this story that was not intentional. That should clear up any creepy looking guys with southern accents coming to my house & saying "You stole my story." (that concept does not belong to me either!)  
  
Once upon a time there was a dude & a dudette. Sorry, a man & a woman. Their names are not important because they're only in the next five paragraphs. One day they were feeling quite hungry, which was really bad for them, because the nearest grocery store was about 10,000 miles away. "Say, I could really use some radishes," said the man. "Me too," said the woman." Hey, I know where to get some radishes, down at the witch's garden. " Now, if you've ever read a fantasy book in your life, you know to never, ever, EVER take anything out of a witch's garden. But these buffoons hadn't, so off they went.  
  
Now the witch didn't mind people going in her garden, so long as they asked. There were people who didn't, but you usually didn't see them again.  
  
Back to the farmers. They were quite successful in borrowing *cough*stealing*cough* the radishes, but were utterly incapable of leaving. Why you ask? Because they were toads. Not to mention the fact that they were in a custom-made Toad-Trap™ .Now I know the whole toad thing is the biggest cliché in the book, but this is the witch that invented the toad idea, & the Toad-Trap™ of course. Witches all over the world remember the Great Lucinda (that's her name) & have passed her knowledge down through generations. (somewhere along the way the spell changed to frog, but that's not my problem.) Now then, back to the story. Lucinda was walking back to her garden whistling a merry little tune. "Time to check the booby traps!" Said Lucinda, to her pet toad (duh) "Ah, someone's been in my garden." The two toads looked up at her desolately. "O.K., I'll turn you back, but only for a price." The toads' expression changed from desolate to intrigued. (that is, if toads' expressions do change, the only one I've seen is bored.) "Weeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllll, I've always wanted a little girl to call my very own. So the next one you have is mine, if you want to leave here alive, that is."(Lucinda had never heard of orphanages.) The toads looked shocked. (if they can. ) "Oh, come on, it's a fair deal, isn't it?" The toads shook their little toady heads. (I love toads!) "Well, looks like I'll have to feed you to the cat. Unless that is, you want to reconsider. " The toads nodded vigorously. "O.K., since you already have a little girl, I'll just pop over to your house & grab her. Sound fair?" The toads nodded slowly. "Great! Off you go then." The farmers suddenly found themselves back in their homes & bodies, but their little girl was gone. "Too bad." Said the farmer. "We never even got to give her a name." (She was about 3 years old.) "Come on, let's get some milk." (In case you're wondering, the farmers would have been TERRIBLE parents.)  
  
So the little girl (now named Radishes. [Lucinda was used to naming pets]) Went on living with Lucinda & the farmers went on farming & everything was just peachy.  
  
Until 14 years later, something extraordinary happened ................. .  
  
Well, that's It for now! I know you're wondering where Kaiba is in all this & I can only tell you he comes in later. ^_^ See you next chapter! ~ The ElfKing 


	2. Enter Kaiba

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MY STORY HAS BEEN ATTACKED BY THE **EVIL QUOTE & APOSTROPHE GLITCH**!!!!!!!!! (DA DA DUM) You all know what I'm talking about. It's the thing where quotation marks & apostrophes look like "& ' ,respectively. If anyone knows how to stop this madness, then for the love of Kaiba, PLEASE review & tell me!!!!! Now then, on to the disclaimer!

Kaiba: (Reading Script) ElfKing doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of it's characters.

If she did, she would......... WTF?!

ElfKing: ;;;;;;

Kaiba: You rotten little pervert!!!!!!!!!!

ElfKing: I've got to run away from Kaiba, (& hopefully catch him :) ) so on with the fic!

P.S. I forgot to warn you, but this fic will change into script format at odd moments.(mainly long conversations.) Also, this chapter is the main reason this fic is rated PG-13.

Seto Kaiba sat in his office and shouted at people. "I thought I told you to get moving or get fired!!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted in his "If I have a heart attack from stress it's all your fault" manner. He blinked & looked around. The employee was gone. So was his office. So was everything. In fact, he was sitting in the middle of a dirt road smack-dab in the middle of nowhere. "What the h-ll? Great, not more of this virtual reality ----. Noah, I'm gonna' flay your -ss like you've never been flayed before! (This was an empty threat, of course. Noah is virtual, so he can't be "flayed") No Noah to taunt him. No random door. Not even a bad memory from his childhood. Nothing. It slowly dawned on Kaiba that this "virtual reality" was too complex to be processed on any computer, including Noah's Virtual Reality SuperComplex™. (A/N I just made the name up ) "If this isn't virtual reality, then what the h-ll is it?" At that outburst, a large pink bubble descended from overhead. "Hello dahling, This the mystical land of Once Upon A Time!!!!!!" (A/N Thank Shrek 2 for that one!)

Kaiba: Who the h-ll _are_ you?!?!?!

???: "Don't be silly, Love. I'm your Fairy Godfather!"

Kaiba: Talk about fairy. (A/N I mean nothing offensive by this!!! )

Fairy Godfather: "You see that castle over there, sweetie? Go to it."

Kaiba: "Go to it?! GO TO IT?!?! I'm not going to fall for that Joan of Arcadia ----!!"

(A/N I don't own Joan!)

Fairy Godfather: Now Honey Bunches, If you don't cooperate, I may do something you'll regret.

Kaiba: WHAT?!?! WTF can you do to ME?!

Fairy Godfather: Now now Sweetums, I do have magic, you know.

Kaiba: Like I care!

Fairy Godfather just gave up at that moment, & zapped Kaiba to the castle.

That's it for now! See you next chappie!

The ElfKing


	3. Lots of Dirt

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GOT REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU DBZHOBBIT, NEONICOLE 76, HIEI'S FIANCEE & FANCY NAME NOT AVAILIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SUGAR HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: & now I have to read this stupid disclaimer..........................

ElfKing: Yuppers!!

Kaiba: ElfKing does not own any of the copyrighted concepts in this stupid fic.....

ElfKing: Stop saying stupid!

Kaiba: Why?!

ElfKing: Because it's........ stupid.

Kaiba: Now as I was saying, ElfKing doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything, I'll skip the "If she did, she would...." Hey, there's a new section..... Warnings, Swearing, occasional script format, WTF?! "Slight threats of yaoi?! "If that involves me, I'm outta here!

ElfKing: Maybe, maybe not. (Haruko grin)

Kaiba: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight......................

Seto Kaiba was sitting in the dirt in front of a large tower. "D-mn that fairy.... Why the hll is there so much dirt in places like this!?" He got up & started to brush himself off. "'Ey! What are you doing at the witch's castle?" Said a large, stupid-looking man with a thick cockney accent.

Kaiba: I have no idea what any of this ---- means...........

Guard: What was that thing you said? It sounded foreign.

Kaiba: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy................................................................

Guard: Listen buddy, you'd best be on your way, or you might be leaving here missing something you'd rather keep, if you get my meaning.

With this, the guard nudged Kaiba with one gigantic, hairy arm. At this point, Kaiba had a choice: He could try & outsmart the guard, or he could just bust out a couple of his jujitsu moves. He knew that outsmarting the guard would have

been easy, but he just wasn't in the mood. Five minutes later, the guard was lying facedown in the dirt. (See? More dirt!)"Kaiba left the guard where he lay &

figured he'd best be on his way. That is, he would have figured that, if he had any clue what "his way" was. "So WTF am I supposed to do now?!" A large pink bubble began to float towards him. "Oh great, just what I needed......."

"Glad to know I'm loved, dear."

Kaiba: Loved?! LOVED?! Is this the yaoi bit?!

ElfKing: Not quite.......

Kaiba: What are you doing here? I thought you were the author.

ElfKing: Oops, Hehehe ;;;;;;;....... (disappears)

Kaiba: TT

FGF: Oooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,

Now that we've gotten over that little fiasco, I need you to do me a few little favors...

Kaiba: Why couldn't I have a fairy godmother like a _normal_ protagonist?

I could even have a paif of fairy godparents, like that Turner kid, but nooooo........

(A/N Thank Neonicole 76 for that one!)

FGF: ...........& wash the dishes. M'k?

Kaiba: NO.

FGF: WHAT?!?! Well then, I won't tell you what to do. Hmph!

Kaiba was suddenly in the mood for outsmarting.

Kaiba: If you don't tell me what to do, I can't do it.

FGF: Huh?

Kaiba: You _are_ the one who wanted me to do this, right?

FGF: Ummmmm, yeah.

Kaiba: Then you'd better tell me what to do so I can do it. (Thinking: I love logic!)

FGF: OK, OK, you win! I'll tell you what to do next!

Kaiba:

FGF: Go to the top of the tower.

Bwa ha ha!! I love evil cliffhangers! Pwease review & you'll join the ranks of the mighty! (NOT) All flames will be used to roast the flamer's favorite charries!

See you next chappie!

The ElfKing


	4. Staircase Drabbles

Hiya! Sowwy I haven't updated in so long, I'm in a MANGA CONTEST!!!!!!!!! (If I win, Rising Stars of Manga #4, look for Warwood Green.) So I've been racing to meet the deadline. Also, I've had the worst case of (DA DA DUM) **WRITER'S BLOCK!!!!** (noooo!!!! The evilness!!!!) Anyhoos, I got more reviews! So far, the Ranks of the Mighty include: Me, DBZHobbit, Hiei's fiancée, Neonicole 76, Fancy Name Not Available, QOL & My friend Merlin who didn't review, but told me he liked it . I'm the Chief Claymore-Wielder because I like big swords & Hiei's fiancée is the General because she asked . Come, Mighty Ranks, let's make Kaiba read the disclaimer!

Kaiba: Ok, that's it. I am not reading any more dmn disclaimers!!!!!!

Ranks of the Mighty: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (brandish swords)

Kaiba: (looks at all the scary people waving swords at him) OO

ElfKing does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any other copyrighted material in this fic.

Ranks of the Mighty:

ElfKing: You forgot the "if I did, I would" part

Kaiba: But that's nasty!!!!

ElfKing: I wrote it, so you have to read Censor Guy: You're treading on thin ice in this fic already. It _is_ a

PG-13 story after all.

ElfKing: Ok Kaiba, you can skip that bit.

Kaiba: (under his breath) we can thank Ra for that!

Ranks of the Mighty: You say somthin'? (brandish swords again)

Kaiba: OO Eep! Um.. I was just getting to the warnings. "Warnings: Swearing, Script Format,"Oh no, not more yaoi!

ElfKing: I don't see what you're griping about, there was hardly anything in the last chapter.

Kaiba: _SO?!?!_ It still could've been me!!!!!!!

ElfKing: coughhomophobecough

Kaiba: WHAT?!?!?!?! :O

ElfKing: Nothing, just a little cough, sowwy.

Kaiba: It **BETTER** be!!!!! (Stomps off in such a huff that not even the Ranks of the Mighty could stop him.)

Oh well, we lost him, on with the ficcy!

Seto Kaiba hated stairs. He utterly _despised_ them. He hated everything about them. The dust. The stone. The cobwebs. The mold. The damp.

He was on step 532. He wondered how many stairs to the top. "Probably 5,000" he spat bitterly into the dust. "These d-mn stairs probably haven't been climbed in a 1,000 years."

"Well, at least this gets me away from all the dirt." He thought. "Although this dust is no substitute. There was never any dust back home. Or dirt. Everything was kept immaculate. I always thought that was a little strange. I mean, how many people spend their lives cleaning everything? Glad I'm not one of those bozos. I could have been.

"What if Gozaboro had never lost that game of chess? Where would Mokuba & I be? Get a hold of yourself Kaiba. There's no use for idle speculation. But then again, there's not much else to do around here. I would plan out the stock portfolio for next month, but I don't know how long I've been gone, when I'll get back. It would probably be obsolete by the time I got back.

"D-mn it! Why me?! It could have been any moron that ended up in this dump! Maybe not, though. What if this _was_ meant for me? Come now Kaiba, you know better than this. Next you're going to start believing in all those ancient Egyptian fairy tales that Yugi & Ishizu are feeding you.

"Gee, I wonder where Yugi is right now. Maybe it's been so long that he's forgotten about me. What if everyone has forgotten about me? What if I've been declared legally dead? Who will get KaibaCorp? Probably Mokuba. He would never forget me.

"What if this is all a dream, & I'm lying in some hospital, comatose? Then I'd be no better than that "Sora" boy that I heard about on the news is. I heard that he fell into a coma playing a game. The doctors say that radiation was the cause. Is it possible that I have been exposed to unhealthy amounts of radiation due to unsafe new technology? I'll have to look into that when I get back, wake up, whatever.

"I'm probably near the top now. The sooner I get to the top & do whatever I'm supposed to, the sooner I can get the h-ll out of this crazy nightmare. I probably have gone up 1,000 stairs by now. If this is a dream, I shouldn't be so tired. Maybe dreams are different when you're in a coma. I wouldn't know. It's been a long time since I jumped into the sea. I can hardly remember. I had jumped out the window, I was cut & bleeding badly. Falling, falling..... Then cold water splashed onto my face. Cold water everywhere. Darkness. No dreams. Nothing. Then I was on a beach, perfectly fine. No cuts or anything. It was if I had drowned in that cold, cold, ocean, & some heavenly being had given my life back to me. Or maybe I had started a new life, one that had been inside me all along.

"Kaiba, these hallucinations are starting to mess with your head! There is no such thing as extra lives! You have to concentrate on reality! Or what little realism there is there is in this crazy place." He touched the dusty stone wall.

"This is not real." He said aloud. "Or is it?" He wanted to think. "It looks real enough. It _feels_ real.

"That's enough!! I am the master of illusions! I know what is real & what isn't!!

This is just a messed up fantasy world brought on by radiation!" A little voice from absolutely nowhere said "but radiation doesn't do that!" Kaiba ignored it.

"All I have to do is remember that this is a dream world & hopefully I can make it back alive, or at least not raving mad.

I wish there were a window up here. Then I could know how much time has passed. _Imaginary_ time, that is. I wonder whether time has passed at all. It certainly has in the real world. Just how many weeks have I lost dreaming? Months, even. Years!" He was coming to the top of the tower.

Hey, is that a door?" He tried it. It was locked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It's pink bubble time.

FGF: Hi, sweetie! Did you miss me?

Kaiba: Just give me the friggn ' key.

I _KNOW_ you have it.

FGF: Oh alright. You win. Here.

FGF huffily handed a pink heart-shaped key to Kaiba & flew off. "Eww, pink. Well, now I can get on with my life." He tried the key. It fit. He walked into what looked like a large, fluffily decorated bedroom. He swept back the lacy, lacy, curtains to find............. A somewhat pretty girl, lying on the pinkest bed he ever saw. "AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PINK!! IT BURNS!!!!!" Kaiba shielded his eyes. "Ahhh.... that's better. Fairy Godfather, what do I do now?!" Never fear, pink bubble is here.

FGF: Oh this room is just _fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ Isn't it, darling?

Kaiba: I'm trying not to barf.

FGF: Oh come on, isn't it just _precious?_ In fact, you would look perfect in a matching pink outfit..................

Kaiba: OO

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!!!!!!

FGF: coughhomophobecough

Kaiba: There it is again!!!! :O

ElfKing: Why do you always have that funny expression when you hear that?

FGF & Kaiba: Hey you're the author, not a character!! What are you doing in the story?!

ElfKing: (Disappears.)

Kaiba: Just tell me what to do now....

FGF: Hey, who is that girl on the bed? Like, OMG!! It's the wrong tower!!!!

You could hear Kaiba's screams of agony from 500 miles away.

Hiya! It's ElfKing again! I couldn't resist putting a little .hack crossover in there. If you're really smart & read allot of weird fantasy books, you'll be able to spot another crossover. Heh heh, I'll probably be the only one who will ever know, aside from Merlin, of course :). Oh Well. R&R, flames will roast flamer's favorite charries. See you next chappie!!

the ElfKing


	5. The Super Fantastic Disclaimer Chapter!

It's me again!! I got more reviews! The Ranks of the Mighty remain the same, though. (They only change when I get a new reviewer or someone asks for a certain rank.) I apologize for the seriousness of the last chapter, I've been reading a lot of strange/sad manga, & I think it affected my writing style for a little while. I'm back to normal now, (hopefully) So on with the shallow humor!!

Oh BTW, Did anyone spot the second crossover? (Heck, most people probably didn't spot the first one!) If you did, tell me in a review & you will get **HONORABLE MENTION!!!!!!!!!!** (bonus points to anyone that can also tell me what it's from!) Also, I might have figured out how to stop the (DA DA DUM) **EVIL QUOTE & APOSTROPHE GLITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** I have a few theories, so I'll begin experimentation!

Experiment 1: 

If that appeared as a quotation mark, this spells success!! (actually this spells "this".) If not, a new experiment will be in the next chapter! Oh well, on to the disclaimer!!

Kaiba: (in chains w/ clothing all ripped & stuff) NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOT MORE DISCLAIMERS!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!

ElfKing: (in executioner/dungeon warden's outfit w/ scary S&M whip) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! YOU WILL READ DISCLAIMERS UNTIL YOUR EYES BLEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: (under his breath) I'm not far from it, judging by the content of some of these things.

ElfKing: (brandishes scary weapons) What was that?

Kaiba: 00 Nothing, nothing at all. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

ElfKing: Just get on with the disclaimer, or it's the rack for you, bubba.

Kaiba: ulp! umm, ElfKingofDemons doesn't own any copyrighted things in this fic.......

ElfKing: (prods him with scary-looking instrument ) Get on with it!

Kaiba: Warnings: script format, swearing, yaoi...... Wait a minute, not even "slight yaoi"?

ElfKing: Nope.

Kaiba: D-mn!!!!!

ElfKing: Wrap it up, buddy.

I've got 5 more innocent people to torture before my lunch break.

Kaiba: TT I'll skip the usual "If she did, she would...." part......

ElfKing: (Shuffles around nervously & looks for censor guy) Right, hehe...

Ranks of the Mighty: (break through wall) Ta da!! We're here to save you, Kaiba!!

ElfKing: What are you talking about? You were the ones that caught him in the first place!

Mighty Ranks: Oh. (sit down in a corner to watch.)

Lucifer: Come on, torture him! Wait, what am I doing here?

Rabid Lucifer Fangirls: Eeek, Lord Lucifer!!!!! Catch him, catch him!!!!

Lucifer: O.O

Kaiba: What more could you want with him? All the guy ever wears is chains anyway.

ElfKing: Eeek, Lord Lucifer!!! (jumps on him)

Lucifer: TT Why me?

Rabid Lucifer Fangirls: TT He's ours!

ElfKing: No way!!! I actually caught him in Demikids!!

RLF's: Dmn Demikids! Tell us how to summon him or we'll take him by force!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ElfKing: Never!! Anyway the incense recipe involves illegal substances.............

RLF's: O.O

Kaiba: O.O

Mighty Ranks: O.O

Lucifer: O.O

ElfKing: Lucifer, even you're stunned? Didn't you smell it?

Lucifer: Well, I did feel a little light-headed that last time......

Flashback: (Lucifer dancing on a summoning table in a cheerleader outfit singing the Oscar Meyer theme song & knocking down all the odd instruments[& you don't even want to know what ElfKing was doing])

RLF's: (Drool over Lucifer in flashback.)

ElfKing: Why'd ya have to relive that flashback out loud?!

Lucifer: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

(Aminozes come out & drag Lucifer away)

RLF's: Waaaaaa!!! Wait for us!!!!!

Kaiba: With all the ruckus, I can probably escape right now!

ElfKing: (Grabs Kaiba by the collar) Who says "ruckus" anymore?

Bakura: The Yogurt of doom is trying to steal my accent!!!!!!!!!

(A/N this is the Bakura that most people refer to as "Ryou". [in other words, the Hikari] The Bakura that most people refer to as "Bakura" [the Yami] will henceforth be referred to as Baku)

Ranks of the Mighty: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Yogurt of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

(start running around in circles)

Bakura: I love my accent!!!! Save me Mr.Fluffykins!!!!!!!!!

Giant Pastel Stuffed Platypus: Bakura, It's me, Mr.Fluffykins!! We must stop the Yogurt of Doom!!!!!

Tea: With the power of Love & Friendship!!!!!

ElfKing: (lets go of Kaiba) DIE PINK-WEARING B-TCH!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: (starts crawling towards the door) Yesssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ranks of the Mighty: (stop screaming & running around) Oh no you don't!!! (grab Kaiba)

Kaiba: TT Why me?

Ranks of the Mighty: Because ElfKing said so, now shut up & be tortured!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: TT

Yogurt of Doom: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU WILL ALL BE MY SLAVES & I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!! (under breath) Just as soon as I get a lovely accent just like the white-haired girly boy..........(sigh)

Mr.Fluffykins: DIE EVIL YOGURT OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yogurt of Doom: NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Godzilla-like battle ensues between Yogurt of Doom & Mr.Fluffykins while everyone else watches & eats popcorn)

Merlin: Cut it out.

Everyone: (Immediately stop what they're doing & obey Merlin's Almighty Common-Senseyness)

Merlin: Now, rushing into battle without thinking is not the way to solve things...

ElfKing: (glares & makes neck-twisting motions with her hands) :(

Merlin: Alright ElfKing, it works sometimes...

ElfKing: (taps foot & glares some more) :(

Merlin: 9.9 Oh, Alright, it works pretty much all the time but this time is special, O.K.?

ElfKing: (nods eagerly) nn

Merlin: O.K. then, now that that's over with, we can solve this mess once & for all. Now, Yogurt, you want to take over the world, right?

Yogurt of Doom:........right.....

Merlin: Come on, don't be shy. But you haven't tried yet, why not?

Yogurt of Doom: (bursts into tears) Because I don't have a prettyful accent like yours & the white-haired girly boy!!!!!!!!!! sob

Bakura: Hey, I'm not a girly boy!!!!!! (starts crying)

Mr.Fluffykins: There, there. We all know you're not, right everyone?

Everyone: Ummmm...... (shuffle around)

Mr.Fluffykins: RIGHT EVERYONE?!?! (DEATH GLARE) :(

Everyone: ;;;;;;;;;;;;; Of course you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bakura: Yay!!

Merlin: Yogurt, that was a very mean thing to say. Bakura is not a girly boy. coughyeah rightcough I think you should apologize.

Yogurt of doom: (backs down in the face of the Almighty Common-Senseyness)

I'm sorry, White-haired one.

Merlin: Now then, I think I know how to solve this. Yogurt, if you want to have a British accent, you should spend the rest of your life in an English speech-therapy place. Sound good?

Yogurt of Doom: Yes! (skips merrily off to England)

Mr.Fluffykins: Rejoice!!! The Yogurt of Doom has been felled!!!!!!!!

Bakura: I want to go home, Mr.Fluffykins!

Mr.Fluffykins: (lifts Bakura into his arms, nuzzles him gently & carries him off into the sunset.)

Kaiba: Did I just see......

ElfKing: .....Interspecies.......

All: **_ YaOi?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!_**

Kaiba: (hurls)

Everyone Else: (run off to take shower)

Kaiba: Wait for me!!! (runs off to take shower)

Well that was....... Weird. I must have been really messed up on the sugar on this one. Pweas don't report this innocent wittle chappie! The rules never said anything about disclaimer chapters, did they? (That's 'cause I'm the only one that's stupid enough to think of one ) BTW, Merlin is the Almighty Englishman Who Can Solve Anyone's Problem & looks about thirtysomething with glasses & a ponytail in this fic, an Aminoz looks like a little midget Tea with a heart-shaped hat & cheerleading outfit & is from Demikids, Demikids is the best game for the Game Boy Advance in the entire world, Lucifer is a TOTAL

BISHIE in Demikids & he joined my party when I beat the game! I sincerely hope that no Satanists were insulted by that bit, (I'm a Satanist myself, after all) & one more thing, the idea of Mr.Fluffykins being a platypus was inspired by one of my friend's plush platypuses, Rex. R&R, Flames will be used in the usual manner. See you next chappie!!

The ElfKing****


	6. A Mighty Clash of Swords! Almost

_**I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!**_

Hurrah hurrah! The reason I was gone so long in the first place was because my computer finally breathed it last breath TT (It was old & worthless though) So _finally _I have a new computer! (Does happy dance) Now that I have the power of authoress once more, let's make Kaiba read the disclaimer & give us ice cream!

Kaiba: TT Why torture _me?_

ElfKing: Because you taste good. :9

Everyone: OO

ElfKing: Heh heh heh, Did I just _say_ that? (Disappears)

Kaiba: --; Moving right along……

ElfKing: (Holds up a picture of Kaiba in a dress) I won't blackmail if you won't blackmail. :)

Kaiba: OO Where the h-ll did you get that!

ElfKing: (Shifty eyes) Internet…..

Everyone: OO

ElfKing: What?

Everyone: OO

ElfKing: I didn't go there on purpose!

Everyone: Phew

ElfKing: if anyone wants to know.

Pegasus: runs towards laptop

ElfKing: OO Ooooooookkaaaaaayyyyyy…….. Anyhoos, on with the fic!

Kaiba: Thank Ra.

Seto Kaiba had been wandering for five days now. _FIVE FRICKIN' DAYS!_ If he didn't find that d-mn princess soon……. …………..we interrupt this program due to censorship of extreme violence & language………..Please bear with us……… Kaiba kicked the dirt in one last burst of frustration. "Ho there, Good Sir! What my ye be doing in this place, pray tell?"

Kaiba: I'm trying to get out of here….. Wait, WTF did you just call me?

: Good Sir, what language doth thou speakest?

Kaiba: Oh, not this again………..

: What mayest the matter be?

Kaiba: Just who the h-ll are you?

: I am the Good Sir Knight (not important)!

Kaiba: Whatever, moron.

Good Sir Knight: How dare ye! En garde!

Kaiba: Oh holy ----……..

GSN: Praying to your heathen gods won't help you! Draw your weapon!

Kaiba: I wasn't praying, I was swearing. And I don't _have _a weapon.

GSN: Alas, I cannot harm an unarmed man! Be on your way……

Kaiba: Heh, got out of that pretty quick…..

And he continued walking onwards. And walking. And walking. "I….Hate….My…..Life," he huffed, struggling to take one more step. His $500 suit was ripped & covered in dirt, his paten leather shoes were all scuffed, & he had numerous scrapes due to walking through brambles. When he thought all was lost, he saw upon the horizon a tiny, one-horse town, lights in the windows casting a glow like that of a company of angels. "Bah. If this is actually considered a town, I'm a monkey's uncle." Kaibsy wasn't a very religious man. He crawled up to the gate, banging on it with his fists. "If those morons don't let me in, there is soooo gonna be h-ll to pay…" The gate swung open on its own. "Well, that's a little odd. But then again, who the heck cares!" And he staggered into the town.

Muhaha! Evil cliffy time! I know it was a short chappie, but I just thought that here would be a good place to end it, is all.

Kaiba: Well, at least I get off work early…….

ElfKing: You forgot to bring us ice cream! Forgot about that, didn'tchya? ;P

Kaiba: Muttering I hate these people……

As you probably know by now, anyone who reviews gets a free ticket to the Ranks Of The Mighty™! And flamers, well, I haven't gotten a flame yet, perhaps due to my copious threats, but you _know_ what will happen to you if you do flame me. Smacks baseball bat into her palm menacingly Anyhoos, good ta be back, see ya next chappie!

The ElfKing


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